Adult World

The adult world is...
.....................................Crazy.
Go go go.................................................................
....................... Organized.................................
........... Disorganized....................................................
............. Frantic....................................
Scary...........................................................
.............Awesome...................................................
Hard....................................................................
...................... Exciting.......................
....................Stressful ........

The adult world is hectic. The real adult world, not the world you see as soon as you turn 18, and you are still in high school. Not the world you see when you are still living at home with Mom and Dad whether you pay rent there or not. I mean the world that you don't expect until you get here.

As an adult I have learned a few things..
1. I don't know everything.
2. Speeding down the road, is no longer fun, it is scary and dangerous.
3. Walking alone at night is a step back from reality and time for yourself.
4. Friends really do come and go.
5. College IS better then high school.
6. Paying the bills every month is a hassle, and I understand the stress now.
7. Never having money, sucks.
8. Budgeting money really is a life saver.
9. Stuffed animals and big fluffy blankets are just in the way.
10. Family means so much more to me.
11. My parents really DO know what they are talking about.
12. The responsibility of owning a vehicle is not just wrecking it, there is way more.
13. I cannot rely on anyone but myself, when it comes to decisions.
14. There is more to life then guys.
15. People who don't love me, care for me, or treat me with respect don't matter.
16. Stress CAN be managed.
17. Everybody has a dark side.
18. I am the only one to blame for my mistakes.
19. The toys I want to buy are a hell of a lot more expensive.
20. Hating someone is a waste of time.

I have learned a lot more, but those are things that I tell myself quite often. When I was little, I always wished I was an adult, I wished that I was the grown up. I wished that I could make my own decisions, and I have. Only now, I can't blame someone else, or use another persons money. For me, this is just the beginning of another life. I had my child life, I had my teen life (which kinda sucked for a second), and now I am in my young adult life, and to me, it's a new beginning.

Decisions

Decisions have been made and I think talking about it will just upset me. So, I will write. I will write about decisions. Decisions that I make that will either make me, or break me. I try to never regret the decisions I make, because I made them for a reason to begin with. I know that sometimes my family doesn't agree with it, and sometimes friends don't agree with it either, but who would they be if they didn't voice their true opinions. Decisions are made every day that impact my life. I make them with purpose. This decision I have made recently is one of the decisions, that my family and friends might say, "hmmm, I think that was the wrong choice."

Talking right now is not something I can do, I don't want my opinion to change because of what someone else is thinking. I like how I think, and I like how I make my choices and I don't need someone else to voice my opinion for me. Even if they think I need to hear it.

I have been told my whole life, by the people who love me, to not make the same mistakes they did. To not get hurt like they did, to not get in debt like they have. If this was the case, I would go through life without making my own decisions, without having my own experiences, and who wants to go through life like that? Although I will take their advice in one way, by holding it hand in hand with my decisions, as I walk through life.

Decisions are what make you or break you, and I choose to have my decisions make me. So I take this decision with pride, like I have with my decisions in the past. Maybe this is my new beginning, mixed with an old fairytale, and right now that's all I can say.

Growing Apart.

Time for a new beginning, a chance to start over. Not to erase the plate, or cut off all my hair, or go get a new tattoo or piercing. It's just a new beginning, a place where I can focus on the things that matter to me. A beginning where I can have the friends I want, and be able to hang out with out the strings attached. I'll never regret this fairytale that ended. But it is time to start another one, and I am ready.

I am ready for a change to come, I think I have been ready for a couple of months now, but in the back of my mind I just hoped that things would change with the other half of my recent fairy tale. I never wanted it to end. I really had the mind set that we were partners in crime for life, and no matter what obstacle came our way, we'd face them; and for a while we did. Then reality set in with me back in February and I knew it was over. You live together, and you either grow together or you don't. Obviously growing together as a couple was not at the top of his priorities, and I will never hold it against him. I asked for a lot from him, and I knew he wasn't ready, but I always hoped. Now that reality has hit... I wasn't ready for what I had been asking for either.

People grow, they adapt, they accept change and they move forward. Well most people do. Some people like to stay in the high school phase and never grow up, and that is their choice. But for me, I grab life by the reins, hold on tight and can't wait to see what comes!

Growing apart is not the easiest thing to handle, but I think I am doing alright. I just have a few more hills to climb before I am over the mountain, and then.... my new beginning will be waiting for me!